surprised by silence

Posted on December 8, 2015 by Jefferson Vann

WHAT IF I PRAY AND THERE IS NO ANSWER?

December 2015 (7)Mark 15:1-5

1 And as soon as it was morning, the chief priests consulted with the elders and scribes and the whole Sanhedrin. And they bound Jesus and led him away and handed him over to Pilate. 2 And Pilate asked him, “Are you the King of the Jews?” Answering, he said to him, “You say so.” 3 And the chief priests accused him constantly. 4 And Pilate again asked him, “Have you no answer to make? See how many charges they bring against you.” 5 But Jesus made no further answer, resulting in Pilate being surprised.

surprised by silence

Pilate expected Jesus to do what every threatened human instinctively does: scramble for safety, explain the misunderstanding, plead for mercy, and negotiate a way out. Pilate was waiting for panic, for self‑defence, for some sign that Jesus understood how much power stood over Him. Instead, Jesus met the moment with a calm that unnerved the governor. He stayed silent, not because He was defeated, but because He was in command. The One through whom the world was made had no need to win the world’s approval. He simply noted Pilate’s own words about Him being “king of the Jews,” exposing the irony that Pilate had spoken more truth than he understood. Beyond that, Jesus offered no defence. His silence was not weakness; it was purpose.

We often find ourselves in situations where we want Christ to act immediately, to speak clearly, to intervene in ways we can measure. When heaven seems quiet, we feel abandoned or confused. Some even begin to doubt whether Jesus is listening at all. But Scripture never teaches that faith depends on constant answers. The only proof we ever needed was given once for all in the resurrection. That empty tomb is the foundation of biblical faith. Jesus does not owe us explanations, and our trust does not depend on receiving them. He will answer in His time, because He cares for us deeply. Yet His greatest concern is not our temporary comfort but our eternal life. That is why He stood silent before Pilate—so that nothing would divert Him from the cross, where our deepest need would be met forever.

When our prayers seem to echo back without reply, we cling to the same promise that carried Him through that trial: the Father’s plan is sure, and resurrection life is already ours.

LORD, we know You are present. You were present for us at the cross. We trust You.

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courtyard

Posted on December 7, 2015 by Jefferson Vann

DO YOU HEAR THE ROOSTER?

December 2015 (7)Mark 14:65-72

65 And some began to spit on him and to blindfold him and to beat him, saying to him, “Prophesy!” And the guards received him with blows. 66 And while Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came by, 67 and when she saw Peter warming himself, she stared at him and said, “You also were with that Nazarene, Jesus.” 68 But he denied it, saying, “I have no idea what you mean.” And he went out into the gateway and the rooster crowed. 69 When the servant girl noticed him again, she began again to say to the bystanders, “This man is one of them.” 70 But he denied it again. And after a little while the bystanders again asked Peter, “You are certainly one of them, because you are a Galilean.” 71 But he began to call a curse on himself and to swear, “I do not know this man you are talking about.” 72 And just then the rooster crowed a second time. And Peter remembered when Jesus had said to him, “Before the rooster crows twice, you will deny me three times.” And he broke down and cried.

courtyard

Peter’s trial began long before the rooster crowed. While Jesus was being shuffled from one illegal hearing to another, Peter was in his own courtroom—one without judges or scrolls, but just as real. His faith was being tested, not by swords or threats, but by fear, exhaustion, and the sudden collapse of everything he thought he understood. And he failed. Not once, but three times. Each denial came easier than the last. Each step away from truth made the next step feel almost natural. Even the memory of Jesus’ warning—so vivid hours earlier—seemed to vanish under the pressure of self‑preservation.

That is how these moments work. They come when we are tired, vulnerable, and disoriented. They come when the world feels grey and the lines between right and wrong blur. In those moments, our past experiences, our bold declarations, even our spiritual highs can feel strangely distant. We may pass such tests, or we may fail them. But the deeper truth is this: the Christ who died for us knows exactly what these moments feel like. He knows the weakness, the fear, the confusion. And He does not abandon us when we stumble. His commitment to us is not fragile. It is not dependent on our flawless performance. It is anchored in His love, not our strength.

Peter’s failure did not end his story. It became the place where grace met him most powerfully. And the same is true for us. The One we sometimes struggle to live for is the One who never struggled to die for us.

LORD, thank You for dying for us, even though we sometimes struggle to faithfully live for You.

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I am

Posted on December 6, 2015 by Jefferson Vann

IF HE DOES NOT RETURN, HE IS NOT THE “I AM”

December 2015 (6)Mark 14:61-64

 

61 But he remained silent and answered nothing. Again the high priest asked him, “Are you the Christ, the Son of the Blessed One?” 62 And Jesus said, “I am, and you will see the Son of Man seated at the right hand of power,[1] and coming with the clouds of heaven.”[2] 63 And the high priest tore his garments and said, “Why are we still looking for witnesses? 64 You have heard his blasphemy. What is your decision?” And they all condemned him as deserving death.

I am

When the high priest finally asked Jesus directly who He was, the silence broke—and what came out was not a defensive argument or a clever evasion, but the very name of God. “I am.” In that moment, Jesus reached back to the burning bush, to the voice that spoke to Moses, to the identity that belongs only to the eternal Father. He was not merely claiming a title; He was revealing His nature. The same God who had spoken from the fire was now standing before them in human flesh.

And yet the world still asks the same question. It keeps demanding that Jesus explain Himself, define Himself, justify Himself. But only the children of the sky‑Father accept His answer. Only those whose hearts have been awakened by grace can hear “I am” and recognize the voice of the One who has always been.

Jesus didn’t stop with identity—He spoke of destiny. He prophesied that the day would come when His authority would no longer be hidden. He would return with the clouds, seated at the right hand of Power, and the question of who He is would be settled by His appearing. The high priest rejected that claim as blasphemy, and in one sense he was right: either Jesus will return in glory, or He was a blasphemer. Either He is the Christ, or He is not. There is no middle ground.

But we know who He is. We trust the One who spoke the name of God because He is the God who speaks. And we trust His promise to return because His identity guarantees His destiny.

LORD, give us confidence in Your return because we trust who You really are.

[1] Psalm 110:1.

[2] Daniel 7:13.

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no answer

Posted on December 5, 2015 by Jefferson Vann

THE ANSWER IS THE CROSS

December 2015 (5)Mark 14:57-60

57 Then some men stood up and presented this false witness against him: 58 “We heard him say, ‘I will destroy this temple that is made with hands, and in three days I will build another, not made with hands.'” 59 Yet even about this their testimony did not agree. 60 And the high priest stood up in the middle of them and asked Jesus, “Have you no answer to make? What is it that these men are testifying against you?”

no answer

 

The high priest’s question still echoes because humanity keeps asking it in new forms. Every time we look at poverty, violence, indignity, or injustice and demand, “God, why don’t You intervene?” we are reenacting that ancient courtroom scene. We are placing Jesus on trial again, insisting that He defend Himself, insisting that He justify His silence.

But the silence of Jesus at His trial was His answer. And it remains His answer still. The cross is the response we need far more than the explanations we want. In that one act of sacrificial love, God addressed the root of every evil, every injustice, every wound. The world’s brokenness is not ignored; it is carried. Its guilt is not excused; it is atoned for. Its future is not abandoned; it is redeemed.

So when we encounter wrong and sin and injustice—when we feel the ache of what is not yet healed—we face a choice. We can accuse Jesus of inaction, demanding that He justify Himself. Or we can trust the gospel. We can believe that the One who refused to defend Himself before the Sanhedrin is the same One who now reigns with all authority. We can trust that He has every matter under His control, even when His timing confounds us. We can rest in the truth that He will prevail.

The cross is not God’s absence; it is His deepest intervention. And it is enough.

LORD, give us the insight to stop asking You “why” and find the answer in Your plan.

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misdirected unity

Posted on December 4, 2015 by Jefferson Vann

UNITY AT ANY COST?

December 2015 (4)Mark 14:53-56

53 And they escorted Jesus to the high priest. And all the high ranking priests and the elders and the scribes came together. 54 And Peter had followed him at a distance, right into the courtyard of the high priest. And he was sitting with the guards and warming himself at the fire. 55 Now the high ranking priests and the whole Council were trying to acquire testimony against Jesus to put him to death, but they found none. 56 Because many presented false witness against him, but their testimony did not agree.

misdirected unity

In a council like the Sanhedrin, disagreement was normal. Factions, rivalries, and theological differences were part of the landscape. But when unity suddenly appeared—when priests, elders, and scribes all aligned with one another—that was the moment to be wary. Their unity was not born of truth, humility, or obedience to God. It was unity forged around a shared desire to condemn the very One their Scriptures pointed to. And that kind of unity is terrifying.

This is the warning tucked inside the trial of Jesus: unity by itself is not a virtue. Unity can be weaponized. Unity can be the collective momentum of people agreeing to do the wrong thing. Unity can become a cloak that hides corruption, fear, or ambition. The religious leaders achieved unity that day, but it was unity in darkness. Their agreement made it possible for them to put to death the One who created them.

So the church must be wise. We long for unity—and rightly so. Jesus prayed for it. Paul urged it. But unity gained by abandoning truth is always dangerous. Unity that requires us to mute the voice of Christ, soften His teachings, or ignore His Spirit is not unity at all. It is surrender. It is the same kind of unity that once condemned the Son of God.

Our pursuit of unity must always be tethered to the glory of God, the wisdom of Scripture, and the discernment of the Spirit. Ecumenism is good when it leads us toward shared obedience. It becomes harmful when it asks us to trade truth for togetherness.

LORD, direct our pursuits of unity so that we come together to do good and not evil. Balance our ecumenism with a concern for bringing You glory through insight and wisdom.

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the day I ran from Jesus

Posted on December 3, 2015 by Jefferson Vann

STAND FOR JESUS, YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT

December 2015 (3)Mark 14:47-52

47 But one of those who stood by pulled out his sword and struck the servant of the high priest and took off his ear. 48 And Jesus said to them, “Have you come out as against an insurrectionist, with swords and clubs to arrest me? 49 Day after day I was with you in the temple teaching, and you did not seize me. But let the Scriptures be fulfilled.” 50 And they all left him and ran off. 51 And a young man followed him, with nothing but a shirt around his body. And they seized him, 52 but he left the shirt and ran away naked.

the day I ran from Jesus

Mark’s account of Jesus’ arrest really does feel surreal—almost dreamlike in its disjointed details. A sword flashes in the dark. A servant’s ear is severed. Yet Mark doesn’t pause to tell us about the healing, perhaps because he wasn’t close enough to see it. Jesus points out the absurdity of the moment: they come armed with clubs and swords to seize the One who had been teaching openly in the temple all week. Nothing about this arrest is logical. It is driven by fear, not truth. And Jesus knows it must unfold this way so that the Scriptures will be fulfilled.

Then comes that strange, almost embarrassing detail—the young man who nearly gets arrested himself, fleeing so quickly that he leaves his garment behind. Many have wondered whether this was Mark inserting his own memory into the story. If so, it is a memory marked not by courage but by shame. His one moment in the scene is a moment of running away. And that, too, is part of the honesty of the gospel. Even those who would later proclaim Christ boldly had moments when fear won.

It is sobering to imagine your only encounter with Jesus in His darkest hour being the memory of fleeing from Him. But that is precisely why this detail matters. It warns us gently but firmly: don’t run away from Jesus. Don’t let fear, confusion, or pressure push you from His side. The mob may be loud. The night may be chaotic. But the safest place in the world is still near Him.

LORD, give us the courage to stand with You when others are standing against You.

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love and respect

Posted on December 2, 2015 by Jefferson Vann

IS YOUR REGARD FOR JESUS MERE PRETENCE?

December 2015 (2)Mark 14:43-46

43 Just then, while Jesus is still speaking, Judas, one of the twelve, arrives. With him is a crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and scribes and elders. 44 (This betrayer had given them a sign, saying, “The one I like is the man. Arrest him and lead him away under guard.”) 45 When Judas arrived, he went up to Jesus immediately and said, “Rabbi!” and kissed him. 46 Then they took hold of him and arrested him.

love and respect

Judas approached Jesus with the gestures of affection and respect—a kiss, a warm greeting, the outward signs of loyalty. But those signs had been hollowed out from the inside. They were no longer expressions of love; they were tools of betrayal. And that is the pattern of this world. It has always known how to perform reverence toward Jesus while quietly rejecting everything He stands for. It praises Him as a “good man,” a moral teacher, a spiritual guide—anything except Lord. But admiration without obedience is not love. Respect without surrender is not devotion.

Jesus Himself confronted His generation with this contradiction: Why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I say? A kiss means nothing if the next step is to hand Him over. A compliment means nothing if it leads to a cross. Real love follows Jesus. Real love obeys Him. Real love stands with Him even when the crowd moves in the opposite direction.

And that is why we must be discerning. Not cynical, but clear‑eyed. Not suspicious of everyone, but wise enough to recognize that not every expression of affection toward Jesus is genuine. Some people praise Him only to reshape Him. Some honor Him only to neutralize Him. Some “love” Him only so they can lead Him away from the place of authority in their lives.

The call for us is to be the opposite—to be people whose devotion is real, whose loyalty is costly, whose love is expressed not in gestures but in obedience, endurance, and truth.

LORD, we ask for the courage to stand against those who merely pretend to love and honor You. Make us genuine.

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strong spirit, weak flesh

Posted on December 1, 2015 by Jefferson Vann

ARE YOU READY FOR WHAT’S COMING?

December 2015 (1)Mark 14:37-42

37 He came and found them sleeping; and he said to Peter, “Simon, are you asleep? Could you not stay awake one hour? 38 Stay awake and pray that you may not come into the time of temptation; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 39 And again he went away and prayed, saying the same words. 40 And once more he came and found them sleeping, because their eyes were very heavy; and they did not know what to say to him. 41 He came a third time and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? Enough! The hour has come; the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. 42 Get up, let us be going. Look, my betrayer is approaching.”

strong spirit, weak flesh

 

They had one assignment—stay awake and pray. Not perform miracles. Not preach sermons. Not display heroic courage. Simply stay alert and pray so they would have strength when temptation came. And yet when the moment arrived, they were unprepared. The first wave of attack wasn’t a sword or an accusation—it was drowsiness. Weariness softened their resolve. Then came the shame of being caught asleep, which only weakened them further. By the third time, the battle was already lost. Their intentions were sincere, but their undisciplined flesh was no match for the pressure they faced.

And that is the warning tucked inside this moment. Strong theology is good. A rich devotional life is good. But without discipline—without the practiced habit of staying spiritually awake—we will crumble in the moments that require alertness, courage, and endurance. The disciples loved Jesus deeply, but love alone didn’t keep their eyes open.

So Jesus points us toward the habits that strengthen the soul. Immerse yourself in the Word—not rushing through it, but lingering long enough to hear God’s voice shaping your thoughts. Pray—not only for the people on your list, but for awareness, for sensitivity, for the ability to recognize what is happening around you spiritually. These practices don’t earn God’s favor; they train us to stay awake. They prepare us for the moments when temptation comes quietly, disguised as exhaustion or distraction.

The easy road is always the sleepy road. The Spirit‑led road is the watchful one.

LORD, forgive us for taking the easy, sleepy road. Make us warriors who are self‑disciplined, prepared for whatever we may face.

Posted in commitment, discernment, prayer, preparation | Tagged | 1 Comment

the unwelcome hour

Posted on November 30, 2015 by Jefferson Vann

WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE PRAYING

November 2015 (30)

Mark 14:32-36

32 They went to a place which was named Gethsemane; and he said to his disciples, “Sit here until I finish praying.” 33 He took with him Peter and James and John, and began to be distressed and restless. 34 And he said to them, “I am deeply grieved, even to death; remain here, and keep wide awake.” 35 And going on a bit farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. 36 He said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you; remove this cup from me; yet, not what I want, but what you want.”

the unwelcome hour

The cross is the clearest, most costly expression of divine love the world has ever seen—a holy God sending His sinless Son to suffer and die for a humanity that could not save itself. Jesus stepped into that moment fully aware of what it would demand of Him. He knew the weight of sin He would carry, the abandonment He would feel, the agony He would endure. That knowledge didn’t make His time in prayer easier; it made it almost unbearable. Instead of comfort, He felt the crushing reality of what lay ahead. His hour was coming, and everything in Him recognized how unwelcome that hour would be.

There are seasons when prayer feels like that for us too. Times when the pain is so sharp, the loneliness so heavy, the fear so real, that drawing near to God feels like pressing into the very thing we want to escape. Instead of relief, prayer seems to intensify the ache. Instead of clarity, it exposes our helplessness. In those moments, everything in us wants to withdraw, to numb ourselves, to avoid the presence that feels too bright for our wounded hearts.

But Jesus shows us another way. He prayed anyway. He prayed through the anguish, not around it. He prayed because He needed His Father in the very moment that felt most forsaken. And that is the invitation for us. We need His presence in our unwelcome hours. We need to speak the truth even when it trembles on our lips. We need to surrender our will to His, not because it is easy, but because it is the only path that leads to life.

Courage in prayer is not the absence of pain. It is the decision to bring our pain into the presence of the One who can hold it.

LORD, give us the courage to draw near to You, even when it hurts to do so.

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courage and compromise

Posted on November 29, 2015 by Jefferson Vann

WHO NEEDS A SAVIOUR?

November 2015 (29)Mark 14:27-31

27 Then Jesus said to them, “You will all be led to sin; because it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.’[1] 28 But after my resurrection, I will go before you to Galilee.” 29 Peter said to him, “Even if all are led to sin, I will not.” 30 Jesus said to him, “I guarantee you, this day, this very night, before the cock crows twice, you will deny me three times.” 31 But he said repeatedly, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you.” And all of them spoke likewise.

courage and compromise

 

It took real courage to say out loud that Jesus was the Christ when both Rome and Jerusalem stood against Him. And it took real compromise to imagine that Jesus could fulfill His Father’s will without going to the cross. Peter managed to embody both extremes within the same story. One moment he was bold enough to confess the truth; the next he was bold enough to rebuke the very One he had confessed. Both impulses lived in him. Both impulses live in us.

We sometimes pretend we can’t understand why people take the wrong road. But if we’re honest, we understand it all too well. We know what it feels like to be confident in our loyalty one moment and shaken by fear the next. We know how quickly conviction can turn into self‑protection. Peter’s story is not foreign to us—it is familiar. It is human. It is a mirror.

And that is why we need a Savior. Not a life coach. Not a moral example. A Savior. Someone who can rescue us from the contradictions inside us, someone who can hold us steady when our courage collapses. Jesus can do many things—heal, teach, restore, transform—but the one thing He never does is compromise. He will not soften the truth to make it easier for us. He will not abandon the cross to avoid suffering. He will not dilute His mission to accommodate our fears. His faithfulness is the very thing that makes our salvation possible.

So we cling to Him, not to our own resolve. We trust His loyalty, not our own. And we pray that those we love will find the same Savior who has found us.

LORD, lead my friends to You, because it is You they need.

[1] Zechariah 13:7.

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