crisis of confidence
devotions from Jefferson Vann # 2334
Num 22:34 Then Balaam said to the angel of Yahveh, “I have sinned, because I did not know that you stood in the road against me. Now therefore, if it is evil in your sight, I will turn back.”
Num 22:35 And the angel of Yahveh said to Balaam, “Go with the men, but speak only the word that I tell you.” So Balaam went on with the princes of Balak.
Num 22:36 When Balak heard that Balaam had come, he went out to meet him at the city of Moab, on the border formed by the Arnon, at the extremity of the border.
Num 22:37 And Balak said to Balaam, “Did I not send to you to call you? Why did you not come to me? Am I not able to honor you?”
Num 22:38 Balaam said to Balak, “notice, I have come to you! Do I now have any power of my own to speak anything? I have to speak the word that God puts in my mouth.”
Num 22:39 Then Balaam went with Balak, and they came to Kiriath-huzoth.
Num 22:40 And Balak sacrificed oxen and sheep, and sent for Balaam and for the princes who were with him.
Num 22:41 And in the morning Balak took Balaam and brought him up to Bamoth-baal, and from there he saw a fraction of the people.
Num 23:1 And Balaam said to Balak, “Build for me here seven altars, and prepare for me here seven bulls and seven rams.”
Num 23:2 Balak did as Balaam had said. And Balak and Balaam offered on each altar a bull and a ram.
Num 23:3 And Balaam said to Balak, “Stand beside your ascending offering, and I will go. Perhaps Yahveh will come to meet me, and whatever he shows me I will tell you.” And he went to a bare height,
Num 23:4 and God met Balaam. And Balaam said to him, “I have arranged the seven altars and I have offered on each altar a bull and a ram.”
Num 23:5 And Yahveh put a word in Balaam’s mouth and said, “Return to Balak, and this is what you will speak.”
Num 23:6 And he returned to him, and notice, he and all the princes of Moab were standing beside his ascending offering.
crisis of confidence
Balaam must have been a well-known prophet, but the incident with the donkey had apparently shaken his confidence. He is not at all sure that he is doing the right thing, and he is not sure if Yahveh is going to give him the right words to say. He has been too close to the line for so long, he doesn’t know the outcome of the events set in motion. His skill has only taken him so far, and there is no relationship with Yahveh to lead him the rest of the way.
FATHER GOD, we want to get close to you, so that when all our skill and experience are not enough, we can rely on you completely.